Suspension
by DestinysHeartless
Summary: When the six apprentices of Ansem became Nobodies, they discovered that they couldn't feel. But as more Nobodies join the Organization, their Superior finds that they might have been wrong all along... and starts to fall for his famed Berserker. XemSai
1. Beginnings

**Author's note: **Welp, here we go. My first fanfiction on this account, but not my first fic. This might be the first one in a really long time that I actually intend on finishing, though… heh… Anyway, this is obviously a Xemsai fiction, so if you hate yaoi or the gorgeous couple of Xemsai, leave. Why'd you even come, anyway? To yell at me? Free speech, bitches! . 

If it's bad, I'm really sorry. My writing has suffered from the evil creature called high school. stabs it with a knife Anyway… cheers, I guess. o.o And also, I can't do the cool little "i" thing because my computer is just stupid. I'm sorry. Don't blame me, blame the computer. Hnn.

**Disclaimer: **All characters, worlds, etc. from this story are copyright from Square Enix's Kingdom Hearts II. I don't own them. Doesn't that suck?

WARNING: Mature yaoi, hardcore stuff, violence, cursing, all that jazz. Will contain lemon.

Rated M. Don't come crying to me when you see this kind of stuff, you all asked for it, got it memorized? -gets shot for using Axel's line for the hundredth time-

_Chapter One: Beginnings_

In every world, there is a Light and a Dark. In some places, the light is at it's strongest, but in others, the darkness roams free. It's an eternal war between the two, both fighting but neither winning. Both are everywhere, evening each other out so that neither would reign supreme over the other.

But there had never been as much darkness as there was now.

A pair of golden eyes wandered, searching for something—or some_where_—to go to. But there was nothing. Nothing as far as the eye could see. There was no light in this world, only cold, hating _darkness_. Scary, isn't it? It would seem as though the dark would throw anyone into a black oblivion, but to this figure… he could almost see everything. Every long, dreadful second that past brightened up his world bit by bit, until he was fully aware of his strange surroundings.

He was in a large city, but it seemed almost abandoned. There was nothing in these desolate streets, not even a speck of dust. Odd, shouldn't at least _something_ be out here? The lights in the apartment windows were all turned on, though; some flickering, others forever shining. It made the man wonder if he was truly alone or not, because why else would the lights be on? This new world was all very strange to him, and a horrible feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. Why was the city abandoned? Was it corrupted by some insane government? Evacuated by a life-threatening disease? Taken over? The thoughts raced through his head, scaring him more and more. He took a deep breath to himself, trying to give himself a little pep talk to knock him out of this scared state.

"Come on Ais, snap out of it. Nothing bad is going to happen to you," he murmured quietly to himself. "This is probably just a dream… yeah, just a dream, don't fret, you're fine." Ais sighed, running a large hand through his hair to calm himself down. A few locks of hair fell in front of his face, and the man paused to inspect them. How strange; they weren't as brown as he remembered them being… they actually weren't brown at all. They were… blue? Ais almost stumbled backwards, terrified of his own _hair_. "Oh holy shit, who the hell dyed my hair? When I find the bastard who did this, I'll kill him for sure," he mumbled quietly, a bit angry. Ais had always loved his magnificent brown hair, and was outraged at the fact that it was blue. Who had _blue hair_, anyway?

Ais sighed and shook his head, getting the thoughts out of his head. Never mind about his stupid hair, what about his location? He still needed to find that out… The city had grown larger with every second until his eyes were in complete focus, and the world could not get any brighter. Ais, after realizing the city wasn't going to get any bigger, finally figured that it was time to go traveling, find out where he was. He tried to stand up, wincing at the pain from muscle fatigue. Damn, he didn't know he was hurt! How did that happen, anyway? Was he attacked? Was he attacking someone, but failed?

"What is going on!?" he asked himself in confusion. He wanted answers, but didn't know where to turn to. How was he going to—

Wait.

Stop.

There was a noise… footsteps. Two pairs of footsteps, actually. Ais suddenly got nervous from the noise, who were these people? Were they friends or enemies? He would've decided not to find that out and just run for it, but his whole lower body felt numb for god knows what reason. The blue haired stranger went very still as the two came into view, and what a strange sight they were! They both had long, black cloaks on, almost reaching the ground. One of the figures had his hood up, revealing his face, while the other's hood was down. The man's black hair was pulled behind him in a ponytail, and it had a few grey streaks in it. His eyes were a striking yellow, but they had a bit of a playful look in them.

The strange yellow-eyed man was talking to the other, using his hands as exaggerations throughout whatever he was saying. The hooded figure seemed a bit bothered by the conversation, but made no effort to stop it. They were about to turn the corner of the street they were currently on when the hooded one suddenly stopped in his tracks, looking directly at Ais. The two of them stopped in their tracks, quickly holding a conversation between themselves.

At this point, Ais was trying to do anything he could to get away from these people. They definitely didn't seem like the nicest people in town, and Ais wasn't willing to find out if they were. Slowly, very slowly, he attempted to drag himself out of the streets and away from the two figures. He hissed loudly in the sharp pain in his legs, and both cloaked men immediately stopped talking to look at the escapee.

In a hurry, the black haired man rushed over to Ais, the other figure following behind. The first of the two knelt down to Ais' height, a look of confusion clearly etched on his face. "Well well, what do we got here? Someone who doesn't belong?" he asked with a bit of a frown. "What's your name, buddy?"

Ais glared at the two figures, narrowing his eyes slightly. He didn't like the sound of the man's voice; it was too… what was the right word, laid-back? Lazy? He wasn't sure how to put it, he just disliked the man's voice. "Isn't it common to say your name before I reveal mine?"

Blackie (Ais' nickname for the man until he knew his name) gave a long whistle, his frown, turning into a smirk. "Well what are you now, some show-off smartass? Listen, I don't really care what you think is 'common'; I asked you your name, so say it, dude!'

The hooded figure behind Blackie sighed, shaking his head at the idiotic speech. Blackie seemed to have just ignored it, still looking at Ais for an answer. Said man rolled his eyes, figuring that it might be easier to just say it and get on with whatever the two of them were planning on doing.

"Ais," he answered quietly.

"Ais, eh? Weird name, but I guess that's all right. Now then, what in Nothing's name are you doing here? How'd you end up in this place, anyway?"

Ah, the question with no answer. Ais merely shrugged, getting a sigh from Blackie. "Won't tell us? Tsk tsk, that won't go too well with the Superior, now will it?"

_Superior?_

"What should we do with him, Vexen?"

The hooded man simply looked down at Ais, almost wondering the same thing. "The Superior might have a few ideas, I suppose." Now, here was a voice that Ais liked; it was calmer than Blackie's, and it sounded like he actually knew what he was doing.

"How lame, I would've liked to kill this guy. Might've actually been some _fun_ around here, since there's nothing else to do," Blackie replied with a bored tone.

"Kill me?!" Ais barked angrily, snarling. "What have I done that makes you want to kill me?" This was all happening too fast; who were these people?! Ais looked back and forth between the two men, glaring viciously. There was something inside of him… almost acting on its own, completely against Ais' will. It seemed just like more power, just waiting to escape and be revealed. This new feeling, although unknown to the blunette, wanted _out_. And he was so willing to give into this new power source.

Blackie immediately jumped up, almost gracefully. He and the hooded man both looked at each other, very confused now. "Quick, Xigbar," the hooded man said, "knock him out. We need to bring this… person, to my lab, I would like to see what this man is capable of doing."

"Good, I can have some fun, finally," Blackie—or Xigbar—said with a smirk. Ais, though, was almost ready to attack Xigbar with full force, but he had already summoned his weapons—what the hell were they, guns?—took aim at Ais and fired.

With a sharp hit to the head from the gun-like object, Ais once again greeted the cold darkness with open arms.

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Good? Bad? Continue? Stop? You rock? You suck and should go hide under a ditch for the rest of your life?

Reviews would be nice. o.o


	2. Discovery

**Author's note: **Well, congrats guys! You made me want to write another chapter! YAY! –dances- But it's kind of bad due to the wonderful thing called school that saps my imagination cells one by one. So… yeah. Thanks to the people who reviewed, even though I know two of you. Hewwo. –waves- You all made me write today… when I had all this wonderful time to myself to work on homework, I worked on this. So… be thankful. Yay.

To my dearest Akita: I'm thinking of throwing in some Akuroku somewhere in the story just for the hell of it, along with Zemyx and possibly Marvex. –ish shot—But I love that couple! Neh! Stupid summary wouldn't let me say it, though. --

And ALSO: REALLY HUGE NOTE: To Johanna Bella: I was looking at your profile thingy (like I do with all of my reviewers :3) and I realized that you were the amazing author of one of my all time favorite el oh el stories, A Misunderstanding. My gods, I was laughing so hard when I read that. You get a gold star and a quick update, Ms. Bella. So DOUBLE YAY! –dances more!—

**Disclaimer**: No, I don't own Kingdom Hearts II, or its characters and worlds. Really. I don't.

WARNING: Mature yaoi, hardcore stuff, violence, cursing, all that jazz. Will contain lemon… maybe a few lemons, not sure yet.

Things in Italics are Aïs/Saïx's thoughts. :3 

Suspension

Chapter Two: Discovery 

A soft groan was filled throughout the room as that same pair of golden eyes fluttered open once more. Greeted by the same darkness too, how wonderful. This whole world was just full of the dark, wasn't it? Aïs bet that these people probably didn't even know what the light even _was._ Imagine that, people living in the darkness… what poor souls.

Aïs, though, had realized that his time, something was different. He didn't wake up in the large, abandoned city. He seemed to have woken up in… a lab of some sort. There was another figure in the room, also with a black cloak on like the ones before. Aïs quickly shut his eyes again, pretending to be asleep. He didn't want to know what the cloaked figure might do if he was awake.

For the third time that day, the blunette began to panic, alarms going off in his head. _Oh, shit! What the hell happened in that city? They… did they take me back to their base, or whatever they called it? Am I going to die here? Damn, damn, damn! Why—_

"Ah, Superior, the test results are done."

Aïs almost let out a gasp, but didn't want to bring any more attention to himself. Aïs had recognized the voice as being the one who captured him—Vexen, was it?—but wasn't paying as much attention to the voice itself as to what he had said. The… Superior? Who could that possibly be? Oh, how Aïs was so tempted to just open his eyes a tiny bit, just to see how the hell this guy was in the first place. But he was smarter than that, only listening to the conversation right in front of him.

"As you can see," Vexen began, "Aïs was definitely attacked earlier, we're not sure by what. Probably Heartless, considering that he wound up near Memory's Skyscraper."

_Heartless?_

There was a short silence before Aïs heard a sigh. "So then, is he a Nobody, IV?" This new voice had to be the Superior's, certainly. It was deep, a commanding voice that any female would gladly work under. It held no emotion whatsoever, though, and this made Aïs a bit uneasy. How could such a powerful sounding voice sound so… empty?

"Yes, Superior, I believe that this man is, indeed, a Nobody."

"A what?"

Oops.

Two heads snapped over to who they thought was sleeping, but obviously was faking it. Aïs cursed himself for being so idiotic as to say something out loud. He kept his eyes closed, though, acting like a child who didn't want to wake up for school. The Superior must have known this was child's play, though, walking right up to Aïs and moving up close to his face.

Aïs felt the Superior's breath on him, and quite frankly, it was freaking him out. He slightly opened one eye, and was greeted by the Superior's own amber eyes staring right at him. He let out a gasp, trying to back as far away from the Superior as he possibly could, but alas, he was strapped to a cold, metal table. Strange how he hadn't realized that before.

The Superior chuckled at Aïs' reaction, moving away from the confused man. Aïs took this change to get a better look at the man… and what a sight he was! The Superior was tanned, almost as if he was in the sun all day. He had grey—no wait, _silver_—hair, reaching down in spikes to his shoulders. He had a strong build, and he was wearing the same cloak the other two were wearing.

This man was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

But he wouldn't let that show. Instead, he only looked up to the tanned man, who seemed to be looking over his body. _Creepy pervert_, Aïs mused to himself. He had refused to say a word, not wanting to say something stupid again. The Superior, after finishing his "check-up", looked over to Vexen with a nod. "Leave the clipboard, I want to talk to this… Aïs…" Said man glanced up and over to Vexen, forgetting that he was still in the room. He looked more normal than the other two Aïs had met, with blonde hair, styled the same as the Superior's. The man had green eyes, and didn't have as powerful a build as his leader.

Vexen nodded back, placing his clipboard down on the small table beside him, leaving the room. Aïs gulped, looking over to the leader of this strange world. He had walked over to the clipboard, picking it up and skimming through a few notes before looking back to the blunette, his face holding the same amount of emotion as his voice. None. _What kind of man is he, to be able to not show simple things like emotion_? Aïs thought.

"So then, Aïs," the Superior started, "do you have any idea why you are here?"

A blank expression was all it took to prove that he wasn't sure what was going on.

"I see… do you remember anything before you came here?"

At this, Aïs blinked. He hadn't really tried to remember what happened before he had come to this strange world. He tried to think… but there was nothing. "I… I don't… no," he stated, shaking his head.

The Superior tsked a few times, a smirk appearing on his face. "You don't remember? That's very strange, you should. Maybe… you just need a little hit to the head to remember…"

Aïs looked to the other man with a horrified look on his face, not wanting to be hit, or whatever was going to happen. "Wait, wait, don't I get any say in if I want to––" _WHAM!_ The Superior had hit the blunette in the head with some sort of red object that seemed to be summoned in less than a second… looked kind of like a laser spear. Aïs yelped in pain, but only blinked when something started to come to his mind. Images.

It was coming at him like a lightning bolt, giving him almost no time to fully process them. Aïs saw almost everything; his childhood, parents, his friends… and the things that sent him to this world.

Little black figures had appeared out of the ground, with beady yellow eyes and black antennae on their heads. They had just come out of the ground out of no where, attacking almost everyone in sight. Aïs' parents, his younger siblings, his friends… and his whole town. Destroyed by these creatures, every one of the people who Aïs cared for and loved… all gone…

"O-oh… oh g-god!" Aïs cried out. All of those memories flying at him like a speeding bullet; it was too fast. It was all just going too fast, and a bit scary, too. What the hell were these strange creatures who were simply… killing everyone? Now he remembered; the little creatures were… heart snatchers! They attacked, and suddenly a pink heart-shaped object came out—probably the heart itself. And then, the body would just… disappear.

Was that what happened to Aïs?

Almost as if the Superior had read his mind, he began, "The creatures that attacked you are called Heartless, Aïs. They are creatures without hearts, searching mindlessly for anything that possesses a heart. A large group obviously attacked where you lived… thus obtaining most of the citizen's hearts."

Aïs had seemed to have taken it all in calmly, just trying to comprehend what was going on. These Heartless creatures had attacked his town. Stole hearts. But, what exactly did that mean, having your heart stolen? "Are they… are they all dead? Everyone who had their heart stolen?"

The Superior looked at Aïs with that same emotionless look. It was beginning to bother him; couldn't this strange man do anything else with his face? "Not exactly, you see, they have become Heartless themselves––"

"They what?!"

The tanned man smirked at the blunette––finally, some real emotion!––and nodded. "Well, that is what happens when a body loses its heart."

"Then… is that what happened to me? Am I a… a Heartless now?"

The smirk on the other man's face had grown wider, and he shook his head. "No, no, you aren't a Heartless. You had a strong willed heart, so the body was spared. That's what you are, Aïs; a body without a heart. But you can think, you aren't mindless like a Heartless is. You really are not supposed to exist… the body left behind. A Nobody." He said this very calmly, but in a bored tone, as if he had said it before.

"A Nobody…" Aïs mused. So this was what he was now? Surprisingly, he didn't feel too scared about it… it seemed as though he didn't care about it at all. His mind wanted to, but his heart––wait, his _non-existent_ heart––didn't want to feel.

"I believe that's enough information for now… I have told you much more than you need to know. Why don't you stay here for the night?"

"Do I have a choice?"

The Superior's smirk turned into a sly grin at the silly question. "Why no, you do not. But with a new… body, you will need a new identity. A new name…" He paused for a moment, looking as though he was thinking deeply. "Saïx. You will be known as Saïx." With that, the Superior began to leave, but the new Nobody stopped him.

"Wait, if you give me a new name, am I allowed to know your name?"

The Superior didn't move for a moment, and the blunette feared that he might've angered him. But, he was answered by the powerful voice that had explained what was happening to him now.

"Xemnas."

And with that, the lights shut off and he left the room, leaving Aïs ––no, _Saïx­_––alone, with only the glow from the moon to use as a light in this dark new world.

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Yay? Still review, or no new chapter. None. Nada. Nein. Zip. Squat. D; SO REVIEW! Gracias :D


	3. Contemplation

**Author's note:** I'M NOT A VIRGIN!

Now that I have your attention, PLEASE READ THIS. And read the rest of these, too. I LIKE it when people know what I have to say… so anyway, yeah, sorry it was late, there's this thing called Life that gets in my way and stops me from writing.

Yeah, sorry I've been gone for a while… I was on vacation, and I was smashed with a bunch of work. Whoops. D: But for now, here's chapter three:D

And also, as a signature of mine, all of my third chapters are incredibly short, including this one. So deal. The fourth chapter is usually much longer though, so… nyah. :3

**Disclaimer**: No, I don't own Kingdom Hearts II, or its characters and worlds. Really. I don't.

WARNING: Mature yaoi, hardcore stuff, violence, cursing, all that jazz. Will contain lemon… maybe a few lemons, not sure yet.

Things in Italics are Aïs/Saïx's thoughts. Chapter 3: Contemplation 

---------------

For the first time in this strange world, when Saïx woke up, he wasn't in complete darkness. There was a faint glow coming from the window, and he had to almost crane his head upwards to see what it was. It seemed to be a heart-shaped moon, illuminating the room for Saïx to see. How strange, were moons supposed to be shaped like hearts? This world was just getting stranger and stranger by the minute. A heart shaped moon…

Even stranger than the shape of the moon was the power that was coming from it. Never had the blunette ever felt this sort of feeling in him. It seemed as though pure _power_ was running through his blood, making him just want to attack anything that came into his path.

Just as he was thinking this, he noticed that something had begun to float up past the shining moon. It was small and pink, and tiny golden sparks would lightly fall off of it as it rose into the heavens. Suddenly, the pink object stopped floating, and almost seemed to be absorbed into the moon itself. Saïx gasped at this; what the hell was going on?!

"That, Saïx, was a heart."

Said man turned his head around to see Xemnas there, standing in the room and watching the moon as well. He had seemed to have come in silently, and he did want to find out how such a large man was able to get in as silent as a cat. He only smiled faintly towards the man called the Superior before turning back towards the window. "Why is the moon shaped like a heart?" he asked curiously, frowning at it. The world had only seemed to get weirder and weirder as time went on, and he was curious to know how this was.

Xemnas chuckled, moving closer to Saïx, but still keeping his gaze outside the window. "Ah, what you see out there isn't really a moon, Saïx. It's called Kingdom Hearts." Seeing that the bluenette was still confused, he continued on to explain the strange moon. "You see, Nobodies like myself have no hearts, like I explained to you yesterday. The only way we can become normal again—the only way to be _real_ again—is to rebuild the wondrous Kingdom Hearts. We can only do this by collecting other hearts, stolen by those hideous Heartless. Saïx, our purpose is to only destroy those wretched creatures and get our hearts back—is it really all that bad?"

Saïx listened to Xemnas intently, very curious to what he had to say. "Get our hearts back?" he repeated. "So then, we're not completely lost, are we?"

"No, not at all."

"So if I were to join, then—"

"Yes, yes, we would try to get your heart back as well."

"How many people are in this… 'group' already?"

"Six. You would be the seventh to join our cause. Do you wish me to give you some time alone?"

Saïx hesitated, and after a few seconds shook his head. "No, no, I already know my answer," he said quietly, smiling faintly now.

"Oh? And what is that, then?"

"I-I think I would like to join your… organization."

The smile on the Superior's face couldn't be any bigger as he nodded only slightly, picking his newest member up by the wrist. "Good then, it wasn't like I was going to give you a choice anyway," he said, smile fading into a smirk. "I suppose I could simply find a spare cloak for you, and… well, we can figure out what you're capable of later."

"What I'm capable of?" Saïx frowned again; this was going too fast. Only minutes ago was Saïx alone, thinking about the moon/Kingdom Hearts, and now he's in some sort of organization?

What the hell had he gotten himself into?

"Yes, I'm talking about your… 'power.' You see, we must be strong in order to fight off some Heartless, and we were all thankfully granted with wondrous powers. You remember Vexen, right? The man who was in here earlier?" Saïx nodded simply. "Well, he can sort of control ice. We have a wind user, a sniper who can almost defy gravity, and… well, you'll just have to find out for yourself."

"What about your power, then? What can you do?"

A creepy grin appeared on Xemnas' face, making Saïx shudder. "That is something you'll have to find out on your own… Now then, your power, we can probably put you in battle and—"

"In battle?!" Saïx cried.

Xemnas' expression seemed to have changed, even though he couldn't feel. He walked right over to Saïx, putting his face only inches away from the blunette's. "Yes, battle. If you can't battle, you might as well be a Dusk, the worst of the Nobodies. And I believe you don't want that, right?" As Saïx shook his head, Xemnas retreated a bit, still with a bit of an angry look on his face. "Unless you already know what your power is, which I highly doubt."

"Well actually," Saïx started, "I think I have some sort of idea…"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, ready to listen.

"I think… I think that I draw power from the mo—Kingdom Hearts, somehow. You see, when I was alone, I felt this… power, rushing through me. I've never felt that way before… do you think that could've been it?"

"Possibly. I would need more 'proof' that you get your power from the moon, but if you are right, then you would definitely make a very interesting person, Saïx." With a smirk he began to leave the room, beckoning Saïx to come. "Come along now, I need you to meet the other members of the Organization, get acquainted with them, feel comfortable with them… and Saïx, you may call me Superior now, since I am your real Superior."

Saïx furrowed his brows together before getting up, following Xemnas almost like a puppy. "Yes… Superior." Said man smirked at this, beginning to walk down the long corridors of Saïx's new home.

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Yes, I know it kinda sucked, and I'm sorry. Blame my school. And the third chapter curse. kicks

Still, reviews would be nice, and the next chapter will be better I SWEAAAAAAAAAAR! ;D


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